The Quarter Life Crisis- something every 20 something year old should read

Being Twenty-something - they call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".

I read this touching, yet alarmingly true reading via email not so long ago, thinking to myself "OMG!  How true is this?"  Seemingly when I shared my thoughts and revelations about the quarter life crisis, every single friend and colleague of mine seemed to agree.
The quarter life crisis, as it is described, is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.  You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but they love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a badperson.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.  Getting wasted and acting like an idiot doesn't seem as fun.  You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.


"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."


It's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.


Author:  Unknown

It's a poor idea to lie to yourself

How many times have you thought thoroughly about your life, about what you can do to make it better or change something in your life completely, but the better picture of your life never really seems to what your heart desires?  It is often the case when we’re not actually truly honest to ourselves, our lives or even situations.

Some of us often dream too big (don’t get me wrong- there is nothing wrong with having big dreams), but is it wise to be very realistic about certain things in your life too.  It is a poor idea to lie to yourself....  in fact; I believe that it actually sets you back on a heavy level.  Some things take time and steps to accomplish...

What do you really want with all your heart?  Who would you like to spend the rest of your life with?  Or at least the next five years or decade- judging by society's rather poor commitment rate in this day and age?  Think about what would really make you happy at this point in time- that special girl, that special guy, do you think he/she will love you back unconditionally- will the feeling be mutual? 

Is the relationship you’re in currently toxic?  Or even your friends- do they offer you any value anymore?  If there is a no in one of these, then I would suggest you think really hard, open your heart to new possibilities (life has so much more to offer) and go and get it!  Rather than sitting and thinking of improving a situation that is doomed anyway....remember that there is nothing wrong with letting go (of people or experiences)...but don’t lie to yourself...some of us have learnt it the hard way, but it's better to realise this now, rather than later, dont you think? Much luv! T ;-)

Sacrifices....

What is the biggest sacrifice you've ever had to make?  I think long and hard and a lot of thoughts come to mind.  I have made a lot of sacrifices in my life for myself, family and loved ones/friends.  To a certain extent, it even came to a point where I decided that sacrifices should actually have limits- especially if the results are not forthcoming.

What happens when someone you really value in your life never makes any sacrifices for you?  Or perhaps the love between the two of you is not in par?  This happens in life all the time to people (I’ve seen and listened), the other party pulls more weight than the other in relationships all the time.  Should you then leave?  Pack your bags and call it quits?

I guess this depends on the one’s emotional wellbeing!  Can you cope with being ‘used’ or not getting the same level of respect, contribution, love or support in your relationship?

I would say move on- but then again- staying and hoping for a change of heart or improvement in a situation may be something to hope for- if you have the patience!

But one thing's for sure- never allow yourself to be second best for someone who doesn’t appreciate you!

The sound of one hand clapping

The sound of one hand clapping!  Imagine that!  Imagine performing you best skill with your best foot forward in front of a heavy crowd and only one hand claps as a sign of praise.  Would you be disappointed and not even want to show your face in front of that crowd again?

I don’t think one needs to be saddened by this- after all, not everyone approves about certain acts and statements that we do or say in our everyday lives- because, you see, everyone is different and if you focus on pleasing everyone all the time- you may as well be a celebrity!  Hells, bells, not even they have it easy.  Accept it!  Not everyone will clap in praise for you and this should not be a bother.

In fact, I would even take it a step further and say, why should you need someone's else’s approval to do things well that are meant for the public eye anyway.  Often, in life we hold back or let go of our dreams purely for the fact that people don’t approve about the things we do or say.

The sound of one hand clapping, in my opinion, would be saddening at first, but knowing that someone still believes in me or the things I do or say means a lot to that one specific person- is enough.  So, I say, let that one hand clap (that is all you need) - as long as you are comfortable in your own skin- just shine and let the world be your oyster- you don’t need anybody's approval.

Not all who wonder are lost

From time to time, we all come or have come to a point in our lives where we just don’t know whether we’re Arthur or Martha- Right?  Or is it just me?  Life becomes so busy that you are never sure what your priorities are- your day is just the same, day after day after day- with some exciting bits there and there.

Often we then wonder what we could have done differently in a day and what that difference would have meant.  But then again, perhaps you don’t even have to think about anything apart from your work load, finances, child(ren) or even your car and house.  You wonder and think "Am I really happy?"

Sometimes your thoughts ponder about improving your life, you sibling's lives or children’s lives-  we see people with straight faces in traffic, at the office, at school parent-teacher meetings- wondering their minds away like there is no tomorrow- but poor souls may be thinking about the bigger picture and future dreams and aspirations.  We should actually all never take ourselves seriously and concentrate in our inner selves more often than we give time to ourselves.

After all – as the saying goes “You don’t really exist if you don’t dream...”

Decisions, Decisions

Have you ever been stuck in a situation that you aren’t able to control and not know what the outcomes will be if you make the right or wrong decision?  This becomes awfully difficult and more complicated when matters of the heart are involved in this process- decision making.

Often in our lives we find ourselves not knowing what is best to do or trying not to hurt our closest friends and loved ones.  Should one even try to please others in their close social circle or should "you" count first and not care what others feel or think about your decisions?

Hmmm, I wonder?  I’m actually stuck between two big decisions that I need to make by the end of this week, and every day I ponder thinking how this will impact my life and the ones close to me.  It is a difficult one, but I strongly believe I will strive in whatever decision I make.

So far, the first stage of my decision seems right, I guess only time will tell whether or not the rest of the story will be filled with cheer, happiness and total bliss.

I could just sigh right now and say "Eish!"  A word I often use quite a lot when I’m a tad stressed.  But one thing is for sure, I will be smiling at the end of it all.

Much love...
T

Me and my blog

Why do people follow blogs?  This is a question that has been top of mind for weeks, so much that I have now decided that I actually need to be marketing myself more vigorously and speak my mind- which is what I do best- and share my thoughts with the world.  My name is Thabo Smouse, by the by!

As a blogger, I blog about the world's occurrences and share my experiences on matters of the world or just generally my perception on random things.  Often people tell me that I have a different take on things.  The things that stress people out to the core are sometimes a walk in the park for me, while the least worrying things to some traumatise me.  So, in essence I know that I am different, and know for a fact that there are lots more other souls out there who have the same or similar view on life as me.  I would like to share my world with those beings out there.

So, my blog is about my life's experiences, observations, findings and what the world and its vast people mean to me.  I plan to grow my blog this year and share what I know and think.  Aplty titled " The Smouse Perspective"  I feel that this is exactly what my blog offers, my perspective and take on life, read it, you'll be surprised at what goes on in this interesting, crazy but good mind of mine.

It's a small world

Is it really a small world as some usually say?  Growing up, I used to think nothing more of who I dealt with, who I pleased or who I talked to- I’m referring to my high school and teenage years that is.  This was until I met a friend of a friend, who was a friend of a friend who had happened to help out on a small favour that was kind of big and made an impact in a big way in my life.

This was also when I decided to treat others like I would want to be treated, never burn bridges and be a kind soul to all those deserving, because in life you never what to expect or what someone can mean to you in the near future.

This weekend alone, I met a young brother of an acquaintance of mine, who happened to be lectured by uncle, who happened to be looking for an internship, one that was in relation to his field of study that the company I work for is offering.  One small chat lead to a connection and networking opportunity for the lad, and I was willing to help however I could, after all, that is how I landed my first job, and the rest is history.

A funnier story is that I’m now best friends, with my exes and neighbours boyfriend's cousin, funny how we are always intertwined hey?  I laugh!

How do you step from the top of a 100 foot pole?

Often we underestimate ourselves, let go of our dreams and never fulfil our destinies due to everyday circumstances  Once in a while one need to just close their eyes, dream, take a step back and do what you feel is right or do best.

Letting go or changing careers, you life or lover is sometimes not a bad things, perhaps some would even say that is it the right thing to do in order to fulfil your destiny.  I often wonder how my life would have been had I studied a different profession - not that I don’t love what I do, PR and Communications was my first choice and love  But now, I’ve come to realise that there is more to my life than words and more words.

I’m more of a people orientated type of guy and feel that it is time to expand my horizons and take others with me, miss what I love the most, fashion and PR and create a mixture of fashion, trends, media and public relations.

I’ve decided to step from the top of my 100 foot pole, close my eyes, take the risk and fly!  I say, so should you!